Sarah Palin Would Be A Terrible Poker Player

Does former governor Sarah Palin really put America first?

Does former governor Sarah Palin really put America first?

Last week, right before Sarah Palin stepped down as governor of Alaska, her father Heath told Politco’s Jonathan Martin that the 2008 Vice Presidential Nominee would “be a good poker player. She never divulged what she’s going to do next.”

But would Palin actually be a good poker player? Here are five reasons Palin be a terrible poker player. (If you disagree, read Part I of the series and see why Palin would be a excellent poker player.)

5. Unable to ride out the downswings
Things certainly haven’t gone all that swimmingly for Palin since she experienced a surge in popularity after being nominated for the nation’s number two job by John McCain. She has faced a litany of ethics complaints and her popularity waned during and after the presidential election. So what did Palin do in the face of these troubles? She quit.

Things aren’t always going to go the way you want at the poker table either. But when you’re going through the inevitable down swings, you’ve just got to keep on playing and trust that things will turn around, provided you’re playing a winning strategy.

4. She’s American
While Palin may be able to see Russia across the Bering Sea from her home state of Alaska, she is American. Sure, there are plenty of great American poker players, but many of the best new players in the game are European. Many, ironically, are from Russia (just look at the winners at the World Series of Poker over the last two years). As someone from a political party that has fiercely defended the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act, it is unlikely that Palin would be playing online, meaning she couldn’t play as many hands and learn as quickly as her European competitors.

3. Wouldn’t do her homework
There are hundreds of poker books on the market, and reading them will make you a better poker player. But as we all learned from her interview with Katie Couric, Palin isn’t much of a reader.

2. Wouldn’t know the rules
In order to be a winning poker player, you have to know the rules. And since Palin couldn’t name any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe vs. Wade in her interview with Couric, she probably wouldn’t know that a single overchip counts as a call and not a raise. Angle shooters at the table would take advantage of her at every opportunity.

1. Blames others for problems rather than looking within
There was a consistent refrain from Palin every time she faced criticism. “It’s the liberal media’s fault.” At the poker table, if you put all your money in and you’re way behind, blaming the guy who beat you doesn’t change the result. Blaming others for her own misfortune at the poker table rather than evaluating her own play would make it hard for Palin to ever become a great poker player.

Aaron Michaels


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